fred the rock gnome!

This is a story about a rock that wasn't really a rock at all, in fact he was a gnome. A rock gnome, that only looked like a rock(That is he only looked like a rock when he wanted to look like a rock, otherwise he looked like a simple gnome). He was lost. The said rock gnome hadn't trimmed his beard in weeks, his cloak and pants was starting to smell and bits of moss grew on his hat. The rock gnome's name was in fact Fred. You can read Fred's thoughts, just like a book. anyways, Fred the rock gnome was traversing through gorgeous gorge, a very gorgeous gorge indeed, to get across to land of milk and honey, or in his case sausages and brownies as you will read.

Fred spotted a fire on a hill. the scent of burning sausages and....brownies filled the air. "Up over yonder hill lies a fire" thought Fred.
Up over the hill there was indeed a fire. Not only was there a fire but there were also three men sitting by the fire cooking sausages and baking brownies. the man to the left of the fire stared of into the distance facing the gorge, the other two were playing slap-jack. with guns." well, I haven't seen a jack yet, why don't we play somein' else?" said the man in the middle.
"yeah, I suppose so, this ain't to fun ever since we shot up the last of the jacks in our deck. Supposin' we do play another game, what do  you have in mi--?" his companion replied before the lookout interrupted.
"shush! I saw something move over yonder next to the bush ahead of the gorge."
"how can you see anything in this moonlight?"
" I swear I saw something. You see that rock next to that bush?"
"yeah, but."
"it wasn't there before, was it?"
"yeah, b-"
"It wasn't!"
"okay,  suppose it is something, what are you gonna do about it?
 Fred lay on ground next to a bush pretending to be a rock listening to the conversation or rather the argument going on among the men ahead of him.
"At least I know where the foods coming from but I have yet to find out if these men are hostile" Fred the rock thought. Fred heard the argument cease and felt them staring at him, or so he thought. The men weren't looking at him though they were looking at the floating light beyond him. Unbeknownst to Fred a portal had opened behind him. Fred felt something pull him backwards and before he could do anything he blacked out.
The three men watched as a window of light appeared out of nowhere, and metal pincers grabbed hold of the rock next to the bush and pull it through the window.
"That was strange." said the lookout. " I didn't like that at all."
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